16 January 2012

My Letter was Answered

One year ago today, I wrote the entry below:

Dear Baby Yet to Be Conceived

Another blog (Today's Letters) had inspired me to do this. They are a husband-wife team who write each other a short letter or note each day to strengthen their communication in their marriage. Writing my letter established communication with a child we did not yet know, and it made the vision of becoming a parent--whether it be through our own pregnancy or through adoption--feel palpable. At the time, Michael was still working the night shift at the hospital. So with no one other than Mojo in the house to talk to, I just decided to stay up late and write the letter.

Wouldn't you know, just an hour after writing it and right before falling asleep, I started my period. It felt like a terrible, twisted joke. I knew there would be a child in our future, but it was as if my body was telling me that it was not going to be the one to grow our baby. After all, we were on our fifth month of hormone therapy after having already tried to get pregnant for 14 months before that. There had been no progress, so the hope for a child of our flesh and blood was slowly waning.

I cried myself to sleep that night. And since Michael was at work, I'm pretty sure I broke the "no Mojo in the bed" rule, too.

Little did I know, it would be my last cycle. Michael and I found out we were pregnant on 16 February 2011. Our pregnancy, labor, and delivery were extremely healthy and successful. Our baby girl is almost 3 months old and is growing beautifully.

Now when I read the letter I wrote a year ago, I replace "Baby Yet to Be Conceived" with "Mallory". It's as if the letter was meant for her, as if the next-in-line gamete waiting to drop out of my ovaries had her name written all over it.

So here are my two very short letters to reflect my mommy emotions today...

Dear Mallory:
You're here, you're ours, and you're beautiful. Thank you for blessing us with everything that you are.
Your Mommy and Daddy

Dear Ovaries:
Thanks for actually working. We like what we got out of you. Shall we try this again in 2-3 years?


Katie M. said...

I remember reading your original letter last year...prayers definitely answered! Mallory is one special little lady! :)

Sue said...

Such a beautiful and heartfelt story, Vikki!

April said...

Like times a million. :) So happy for your little family!!

Aliceson N. said...

Vikki! You are amazing! Mallory is lucky to have you as her mommy! I love reading your blogs!

Jean said...

I cried buckets when I read the letter last year...prayed lots of prayers...and am sitting here with tears reading this entry! I'm so thankful your dreams have come true. It couldn't happen to better people. :)

Jennifer Stanton said...

I read the original letter not too long ago. I thought it was beautiful then. For some reason, it hit me more when I read it a few minutes ago. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I have my little one sleeping in her bassinet beside me and I imagine what you went through trying to bring Mallory into this world. I never thought I would have another baby and in fact had given up all hope so your struggles and subsequent victory in the fertility arena really struck a chord in my heart. Your letters brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you. Mallory is a beautiful little girl and I look forward to watching her grow. Thank you for sharing your life with us.


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