I prepared myself for the worst: If it was only a 2.2 last month, then it'll probably be all of 2.3 this month.
Boy, was I ever wrong.
My phone vibrated violently in my back pocket while I conversed with another teacher. I just knew it was my NP calling to leave me a no-good-news kind of message. It took every ounce of my being to resist yanking my phone out of my back pocket to listen to what she had to say. Ovary news may be important, but my kids learning about area and fraction-decimal conversions had to be done first.
What felt like 50 years later (it may have only been an hour), I called on my next-door neighbor, Tamela, for one of our routine tag-team teacher bathroom breaks. She took her position in the hallway to monitor both of our classes, and I headed toward the ladies' room. I've never understood people who felt compelled to talk on the phone while peeing, but this was going to be my only chance until lunch time to hear what I needed to hear. I set the phone on the edge of the sink and turned on the speakerphone feature of the voicemail while I took care of the rather large Sprite I consumed during math class. The news that came from my NP's recorded voice almost made me fall off the toilet.
"Good news, Victoria, your progesterone level went up to a 12.4! That means you had a true positive on the OPK you mentioned from last week and that the medications are working. Based on the day you tested positive on the OPK, I would recommend taking a pregnancy test the day after Valentine's Day. Call me with any questions!"Holy crap, it worked. I mean, a 12.4? That's significantly higher than any number I was anticipating. My no-good ovaries really DID do what they were supposed to do. If I could take them out for drinks to celebrate, I would buy them the good stuff off the top shelf! I'm not going to get my hopes up too high with the possibility that I could be baking a bun at this very moment, but I sure want Tuesday to get here. Waiting is part of the game, and that virtue we call "patience" is starting to mock me.