18 January 2011

Amazonian Pygmies Attack

I'm 5 days early.  That's right, ladies and other ladies (I figure the male types stay away from menses talk).  5 whole days!  Last go-around, I was 10 days LATE.  Now I'm 5 days early?  While on Femara?  At a higher concentration than the 2 months I was on Clomid?

What the HELL?

Being this early is like having Amazonian pygmy warriors stage a sneak attack on your uterus wearing tribal masks and carrying 5-foot spears.  They are thirsty for blood, having no mercy in their take-no-prisoners assault on your womanly parts.  With their high-pitched war cries and crazy-eyed stares, all you can do is wait for the end of the massacre.

And how did this affect the results of my progesterone levels I had tested only last Friday?

It plummeted… to a flippin' 2.2.  I about had a stroke.

Apparently, the stupid pygmy warriors not only took my uterus hostage, but they laid claim to my pituitary gland, tied it up to a wooden stake, and roasted it over a bonfire next to their sacrificial wild boar.

Time to go throw things…


Laura said...

You just got awarded the Stylish Blogger Award because you are one of my favorite blogs! See this post for details: http://baaremans.blogspot.com/2011/01/and-stylish-blogger-award-goes-to.html

A. Hab. said...

Sigh. I hate this for you, I really do. :( Did you call your doctor today?

I hope you found something to throw. You deserve to throw something right now.

Rachael said...

Vickie, you have the most well written blog. Even when you aren't smiling you find a way to make us smile. Praying, praying for you.


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