23 December 2010

What is "Baby Dust", and Do I Even Want It?

If someone had told me just a few years ago that my cell phone would play a part in the whole TTC equation, I would have laughed in their face.  I would have laughed even harder if that same someone had said my phone would be of the Apple family.  Yes.  I am a recovering all-things-Apple hater.  The road to recovery started when Michael bought an iPod over a year ago.  I couldn't be left in the dust, nor could I stand having to find conversion software for my piece of crap MP3 player.  I decided to jump on board.  Two iPods, an iMac, and an iPhone later, I'm not sipping on the Hater-ade anymore.  With the purchase of my iPhone, not only was I going to have access to my email account that is otherwise firewalled at my job, I was to be immersed in a whole new world of apps and other technological advances.

I soon discovered an amazing free app called "iPeriod" (for the doubters, check it out HERE) that has been a godsend in keeping all of our fertility and monthly cycle data organized.  I had tried for months to keep up with organizing the very same data on a somewhat chic pocket-sized calendar I purchased from Wal-Mart for less than $5.  It was easy coming up with general symbols for things like days on my period (those are days you want to forget, so they got a very angry slash mark) or abdominal pain (marked with a simple "AP").  Trying to come up with new and significant symbols for each sign and symptom because rather tedious, especially with my lack of creativity.  Were the smiley faces for days Michael and I had husband-wife time?  Or were they for the days I was in a good mood?  And what about days marked with an "S"?  Did it stand for "spotting" or "shitty attitude" or "spitting nails"?  On top of my inability to keep up with my own symbols, I began writing in notes on major gardening events: "fertilized yard" and "put epsom salt on tomatoes".  Not that I would confuse our fertility with the yard's.  I just needed something separate and user-friendly.

The software for the app calculates when I (apparently) ovulate, and it allows me to enter my own data, like when I have blood drawn or when we have a "love connection".  Its startup page tells you which day of your cycle you're on (so you know if you're late).  The app even assigns a unique symbol and varying colors for each event marked on your calendar, which makes it a perfect fit for my OCD personality.  My only complaint is that it plagues your iPhone screen with its glowing pink dot.  Yet, you do have the choice of renaming it "iP" should someone get their hands on your device and you would rather them not know that this app is for keeping track of your feminine phenomena.

Now that I've gone around my ass to get to my elbow, the point of this whole entry is drawing closer...

One of the latest updates on the app is a feature tabbed on its menu as "Forum".  It's a message board center with a multitude of categories where women using the same app can converse with each other.  Naturally, I was drawn to the "TTC" category where I could read and share messages with others trying to get pregnant.  Everyone seemed responsive and encouraging enough to warrant an actual post from me, so I took a shot.  In my message, I introduced myself, mentioned how we had been trying for over a year, and how we were experiencing new steps in the process--fertility meds, monthly blood tests, etc.  Almost immediately, an Australian woman with 3 children posted back a brief summary of how she went through the same thing with her first child.  Nothing profound, but what she signed off with had me tugging at my chin:

"Wishing you lots of baby dust!"

What the?  Huh?  Sure, my schema for all things positive clued me in that her comment was meant to be supportive and hopeful, even though I didn't know her from Adam.  Yet, I couldn't help but let my mind associate cockamamie images with her powdery positivity.

For example, remember when someone would ask you: "If olive oil is made from squeezed olives, and corn oil is made from squeezed corn, what's baby oil squeezed from?"  Even though you didn't want to, you couldn't help but imagine babies being squeezed until they oozed their therapeutic juices out of their fingertips or elbows.  Then it would be funneled into a clear Johnson & Johnson bottle.  The babies, of course, were never injured in your imaginary baby-squeezing factory.  They were given back to their mothers after their job was done, and they would sleep a little better knowing they were contributing to the healing of chaffed and irritated skin.

So upon seeing the "baby dust" statement, I was propelled into my own version Jack Handy's "Deep Thoughts".  Is baby dust available in stores?  Would it be found in the baby aisle at Publix?  Or is it sold on the street with other varieties of dust, like "angel" and "fairy"?  And most importantly, what is it made from?

If this stuff were actually bottled and sold, I would like to imagine it as being crushed up baby aspirin (to help with the pains of infertility) mixed in with some fine-smelling talcum and a little glitter.  The color glitter would be dependent upon what sex baby you hoped to have.  Application method?  Blown from the palm of a fertility fairy.  Duh.

The fertility fairy?  She would be a cross between this very cute cartoony fairy:

And this human one (but not as strung-out looking):

What outlandish or bizarre image popped up in your mind when you first read the words "baby dust"?  I can't possibly be the only one who put a picture to the idea.

I naturally wasn't satisfied with only my quirky thoughts on this topic.  I just had to Google "baby dust" to see what other crazy images and webpages I could discover.  Sure enough, I found this website, chock-full of free samples (of baby products, not the dust…), blog blinkies, and random pregnancy websites.  Like I want something like this flashing across my blog's main page:

But not all websites with "baby dust" in the title were all that obnoxious.  I found another woman's blog that focuses solely on her journey through infertility.  It's called "The Baby Dust Diaries".  She's smart, eloquent, and devoted to her readers.  Best of all, she's realistic and honest as is evident in her "About Me" page.

OK, now I've left my elbow to get back to my ass via the mole on my left shoulder, so let's close this one…

Since I bought the iPhone, it led me to download the iPeriod app, which led me to posting on the forum's message board, which elicited a response from a stranger wishing me "lots of baby dust", which gave me the topic to post on my blog.

Merry Christmas, friends!  Thanks for your continued support!

1 comment:

h and gs said...

My husband and I are currently in our initial stages of fertility treatments to make my ovaries do their things, but I have to admit I'm overwhelmed...and everything has been reminding me of the child we don't have. and if someone tells me i need to get with the baby-making one more time, i will scream. i found your blog through a link on Pinterest about things you should bring to the hospital when you give birth and saw that you struggled through infertility issues too, and it was just nice to know someone else was out there...writing about it too. So thanks. :)


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